consecrating myself

Every day I am reminded of how desperately the world needs Jesus Christ.

I look around and see people. Some beg, some are homeless, and some try to make a living out of what they can sell. I am reminded of how much I take for granted: food, clothing, shelter, and access to water and electricity. I have enough of these and yet I find myself sometimes in an attitude of ungratefulness. I know I’m not perfect and I’m far from that. I recognize that I am a part of the brokenness in this world. And I choose to be an instrument of Hope.

My friend sent me off to Mexico with Oswald Chambers’ book, My Utmost for His Highest. His thoughts and devotions have become a daily part of my life. I reflect on his wisdom and work at applying it to my life. His devotion to the Person of Christ has made me want to know Him better. I desire to have a deeper and intimate relationship with Christ, to know His heart and be like Him so that I may please Him. Following Christ in the gospels and paying attention to his behaviors, His teachings, and His attitude toward certain things and people help me to check my own heart, my attitude, and behaviors.

Chambers writes, “Consecration is the act of continually separating myself from everything except that which God has appointed me to do.” I don’t ask God every day what it is that He has appointed me to do. I simply just do what I know I am here to do in Mexico: to be in relationship with my team and the people God draws me to (and those He draws to me) as I grow in the skills of learning and teaching. During down time I enjoy reading and writing as well as watching the screen. Whether it be a video on YouTube or a movie, sometimes I walk away with weight on my heart. The cares of the world seep in through my eyes and hope begins to darken.

Jesus said that those who follow Him will be hated because of Him (Matthew 10:22). I am well aware of division, especially within the Hmong community, because of Christ. It hurts but this is what Jesus was talking about when He gave that warning. Yet Jesus commands His followers to love God, first and foremost, and our neighbors, which include every single person.

So, love? I ask. Give me the strength, I pray. Unless I consecrate my life and service to God, I cannot be an instrument of Hope. Only in Him do I have security in knowing that all of my basic needs are provided for. Only in Christ can I love deeply. In a world where people are asleep, seeking after and dreaming of immediate pleasure in things and people that will love them back, I need to look to Christ.