asking for too much

Friends are those I share laughter, tears, and silence with. They are are not afraid to speak the Word of Truth, especially when it is desired and not just needed. I have shared my heart with many people, but my friends are those who've share their hearts with me, too. They have been there for me and continue to come through. However, I have found that some friends are only there when they feel needed. I think that for some, it seems that I only come around when I am "needed." I am not exactly sure if this is a terribly sad thing. But as I'm processing being here in Mexico and not having the same kind of access to certain things, I am wondering what kind of friend I have been and am. I truly believe that people reflect each other in some way or another. And I am at a place of reflecting on what kind of friend I have been.

If a friend asks me to do them a favor, and I know I can't do it, I will say no. And I respect the few friends of mine that are honest enough to tell me no. But if it's a favor I'm not sure about...have I let them know that I need more time to think about it? Or have I left them hanging? I know that people stay busy, and I wonder if I've acted too busy for friends? Too busy to reach out and encourage? I know I shouldn't feel like an inconvenience, but sometimes I do feel like what I'm asking for is too much, therefore, I feel like the inconvenience for even have asked. And I don't like feeling like that. The natural reaction is to want to be independent of people, of friends. And that is undoubtedly unhealthy.

People are created for each other, to need and want each other, and the extreme of that shows itself in the idolization others. I know many people put up a front as though they didn't have a need for others, but deep down there is a desire to relate, to connect, to have, and to hold. And doing those very things can be pretty scary, especially at first. My may my pride be the first to go.

There are some questions that ask for too much. Some do not. And I think that in knowing when I am asking for too much, I can gauge between who I can call on and who I cannot. I think this is a fair way to measure how true my friendship is. I believe that despite how busy life can get, a true friend will always try to do their best to help in any way possible. Asking for too much is when the resources are not there and access is rather impossible.

So, with my limitations here in Mexico, I will have to depend on friends for help. And when they cannot come through, I'll just have to make do with what I have. I already have the greatest friend in the world, Jesus Christ, and He is more than enough.